


A World of Love, without Death.

by Yayate



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Obsessive Behavior, Self-Hatred, Trans Female Character, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 21:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20453918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yayate/pseuds/Yayate
Summary: A story about transgirl Nier and Djeeta in a warm, lesbian relationship.I wrote this while I was really giddy from getting Nier, a few months ago. I might update it, eventually. But probably not. Someone forced me to post this, would've probably deleted it otherwise.





	1. Chapter 1

“...And that’s why… I need to destroy everything! Everything! Everything! EVERYTHING!”

The raven-haired Erune stood a handful of feet away from Djeeta. She was clutching her head in pain. Shaking, violently. Her fingers even wrapped firmly around her own, feline ears. The bare skin inside was even slowly turning red. 

“It’s going to be a whole new world, Djeeta… just you and me! A perfect world for just the two of us! We’ll be together, forever! Forever! You! And! Me!” Her teeth clenched together. The tiniest bit of blood was slowly dripping out of her lips, staining the grass beneath. Whatever strength she had left was fading, and she slowly sunk through her knees. Onto the ground. Nier curled up, into a little ball, with the Primal Beast-like being that pacted with her floating closer and closer to her fallen body.

“Why are you stopping me… why are you stopping me! I thought you cared for me- loved me! We can be happy- happy- HAPPY!”

Djeeta looked over her both shoulders. To her left, stood the Girl in Blue her life was irreversibly tied to, while to her right, floated the small red dragon.”

“Djeeta… We have to leave! Whatever it is- it’s getting stronger! I can’t suppress it…!”

“She’s right, partner! I’m sure that clingy girl will be fine! We can’t-”

The blonde stepped forward wordlessly, leaving the two with nothing but the tiniest shake of her head. She kneeled down in front of her feline friend, slowly reaching out a single hand to stroke through her hair. At first- Nier jerked back. She had to be terrified. But that’s okay. It just meant Djeeta had to shuffle closer. One hand pressing down onto the small of Nier’s back, while the other moved to gently press against Nier’s face. Stroking against her cheek. Slowly, very slowly, forcing her eyes up. Making her look at her Captain.

Djeeta showed no anger. No judgement. Not even the slightest hint of anything bar the affection she genuinely had. Nothing but that same, gentle smile. Even as Lyria and Vyrn panicked in the background, Djeeta remained so resolute. Djeeta’s eyes focused right into Nier’s- at least, as much as they could. Nier was doing her best to meekly avoid eye-contact. Staring past Djeeta, towards the clouded white skies.

“Nier?”

The Erune remained silent.

“It’s okay. You’re fine.”

“Huh?”

For just a moment, they caught one another. Nier’s eyes escaped as quickly as they had met. Her blooded lips fell ajar, but nothing legible managed to come out. All she could do was wordlessly mutter.

“I’m not mad at you. I promised.”

They met again, just for a second.

“And, y’kno- Geez, Nier~ We’ve known each other… for like half a year now? I thought you’d know by now that I’m not the kind of person that would ever break a promise!”

“...But…”

The momentary gazes got longer and longer, before Nier finally mustered the strength to keep them locked.

“My parents...everyone I… everyone…”

“I’m not like everyone else, silly! Do you really want to create a new world, Nier? Wouldn’t it be better if we stayed here, together? We can show everyone- everyone- what a wonderful woman you are.”

“I can’t… they can’t… the things I did…”

Regret? Nier did sometimes talk about her past- but when it came to those kind of things, she always seemed so disconnected. She was always vague and never really gave any details. She just talked about how it hurt. How everyone hurt her. How she just wanted to be happy, how she just didn’t want to be alone… sometimes, she spoke of what a monster she had to be. But it was always so distant. She didn’t sound sad. She didn’t sound angry. Her eyes didn’t even show the usual sadness she bore when Djeeta brought up her past. Her eyes were just always… caught by nothing.

But now? She was bawling her eyes out.

“Mama, Papa… my sister… my.. My… my my my my.. My… everyone…”

“I don’t know what you did- I don’t care. All I can see is the pretty Erune in front of me, with her wonderful, flowing black hair. Those cute ears… and especially, those wonderful orange eyes.”

“Stop… talking about how I look… Djeeta, I’m disgusting… I’m so filthy… I’m… a little frea-”

“Nope, none of these things.”

Djeeta’s hands moved, now both moving towards the pit of Nier’s arms. And slowly lifting her up, back onto her feet. With one arm, Djeeta helped her up, with the other, she wiped the dirt and grime of Nier’s clothes. All while never her smile fade.

“Mm. Let’s go back home, okay? Your home- my home.” Djeeta’s lips pursed and shifted closer slightly, leaving the softest kiss on the Erune’s forehead. “-Our- home. Nier, it’s our home.”

Those buckled, lifeless legs slowly regained their energy. Her feet planted on the ground… and she stood straight, against her Captain. An expression with awkward happiness, anger, and sadness all mixed in. Nier leaned forward, letting her chin quietly rest on her much shorter Captain’s head.

“...home.”

“...Djeeta, look out!”  
“Hey! Partner!”

Djeeta’s reaction was lightning-fast. She shoved her girlfriend to the side. She grabbed her sword- and managed to reflexively put her sword between her and the blade inches away from her body-

Death had come. The reaper swung one of it’s scythes. Crashing through Djeeta’s sword. Scattering it as if it had clashed against the water’s surface. That split-blade did nothing to stop Death… and neither did her body.

It struck true.

It struck through.

“You… betray my love. You’ll hurt my love. Only death can love her. Death is the only thing for her. Death…”

Ah

The words were fading. Djeeta was sure Death hadn’t stopped talking. She was sure she could hear screams rupture through the air.

Everything was getting blurry.

Everything was fading.

All that was left, was that sharp pain.

And that fear.

Lyria…

Vyrn…

...Nier…

Everything was turning red.

...and then everything… it just faded.


	2. Chapter 2

Pain.

Pain

Burning pain. Boiling pain. Sharp pain.

It hurt so much.

It just wouldn’t stop hurting.

Everything hurt.

Everything.

Bar one warmth.

One overwhelming warmth. It kept her going. It kept her from giving up. No matter how bad the pain got, it was always there. It didn’t fade once. Not even for a moment.

“...Mm… mmm…”

Nothingness slowly faded into darkness. And that darkness, slowly made way to light.

Djeeta’s eyes clenched- before slowly starting to open.

Ow

It was bright. Too bright. Her eyes parted just a little- before clenching right back down. Only after a second, did they slowly start to open again.

...still too bright.

But… it didn’t hurt anymore.

It felt almost welcoming.

The blinding, almost-hot flash slowly made way to shapes and colours. A red and pink oval hung over her- along with long strands of black. Slowly, more detail came to her eyes. A face. Two orange eyes. Long, black hair. Two cute ears, perked at the top of their head. Blue-and-red swelling around their eyes. Something reflective slowly travelling down those puffy cheeks.

“...Ah.”

Nier.

She was shivering, just ever so slightly. Holding Djeeta’s right hand up, locked deeply within her fingers. There was no strength left in her tiny body. Her eyes were twitching- struggling to keep them open. With how she was wobbling, it was clear that she was just inches away from passing out.

“Good… morning.”

Djeeta couldn’t really race her voice. Everything hurt. She couldn’t speak in her usual soft- comforting tone. Every word she said came out crackling. Warped by her pain and exhaustion. But Nier didn’t respond. She just continued wiggling, wobbling, and fighting to keep her eyes open.

It had… been a minute, hadn’t it?

The laying Captain put whatever force she could into her hand. Squeezing. First, lightly, just to draw her attention. Before slowly doing her best to increase pressure. Only when she tried her absolute hardest. When she mustered every ounce of strength she could, into her fingers. Did Nier finally react.

“Eh?”

A confused mumble. She closed her eyes and shook her head, probably to shake off that looming sleepiness. She adjusted her grip around Djeeta’s fingers, trying to make ever so sure she wouldn’t let her go, not even for an instant.

Before she finally noticed.

“...Djeeta?”

For just a moment, the feline seemed reinvigorated. The sullen expression on her cheeks bloomed into a wide, genuine smile. An expression of nothing but happiness. No fear- no sadness. The tears that seemed formed of exhaustion made way for those of happiness. As she clenched down, lightly, for just a second.

“Welcome… ba… ba… back…”

Nier couldn’t hold her emotions in for too long, Within a second- she pounced forward. Wrapping her arms around Djeeta’s neck. Clinging onto her Captain. Shifting forward, and even letting herself fall on Djeeta’s pained body.

“Djeeta! Djeeta… Djeeta! Djeeta… Djeeta djeeta djeeta djeeta djee… tah…”

Her voice got softer every time. Before she finally stopped, her words turning into meek purrs of breath.

The blonde moved her hand upwards. Letting it pet through Nier’s raven hair. Touching at her ear. Before just hugging her back, and smiling with all the strength she could muster.

“Sleep well, sweetheart.”

“Djee...taaa…”

Even as she faded into dreams, she kept mumbling her beloved’s name. Djeeta, too, slowly started letting her mind fade away. Turns out, being knocked out makes you tired, and-

“DJEETA!”

With a loud crash, the door to her room slammed open. 

Lyria and Vyrn.

Djeeta was happy they were okay. But she could barely tilt her head to give them a nod. As she tried to open her mouth, her jaws failed to obey her. As she tried to playfully raise her left hand into a cheery wave, she just couldn’t get it to lift away from Nier.

“Thank gosh! She really is awake! Katalina! Katali-”

Those words fell into whispers, before Djeeta once more, lost her consciousness. 

Into a soft, peaceful nap. With that happy smile still marked on her face.

No pain. No sadness.

Nothing but the warmth embracing her.


	3. Chapter 3

The nap only lasted half an hour, before she was rudely awakened. Lyria had grasped onto her shoulder, and started shaking her just ever so lightly. “Djeeta? Djeetaaa?” she mumbled out in soft whispers- and that was to shake her from her light sleep. “I saw you wake up.. I can feel that you’re doing better…”

Djeeta actually woke up the moment Lyria touched onto her shoulder. The light touch of skin-to-skin immediately jolted her awake. But- honestly, she needed a few more minutes. Her head was still pretty cloudy. And, honestly, it was really hard to motivate herself to escape this comfortable cat-blanket.

“Djeeta… you know that I can feel you’re awake, right?”

Lyria’s tone turned somber. She didn’t just sound hurt- she could feel the sadness tug at their shared soul.

“If you really don’t want to see me, I’ll just-”

Ow

“..I’m sorry.”

Djeeta whispered out, slowly opening her eyes. Lyria was hanging her head in sadness and shame, while Djeeta’s words seemed to have fixed the worst of her anxiety, Lyria’s face said everything. She pumped her cheeks up and pumped her fists forward ever-so-slightly. “Um-um, I’m sure you had your reasons… I know you wouldn’t do this to me just to-”

“...Sorry.”

No denial. She couldn’t bring herself to lie. Djeeta really just didn’t want to see Lyria- more specifically, she really didn’t want to see anyone. Just her mere presence… well, it hurt. Looking at her hurt. Hearing her talk hurt. Even those lightest touches Lyria left on Djeeta’s shoulder hurt. Her entire body was screaming for rest. Her mind was screaming to be left alone.

For some reason.

...her heart was rejecting the presence of anyone other than Nier. Djeeta’s grip adjusted slightly, letting her fingers gently trail through Nier’s head, before grasping lightly onto her head. She was drooling on top of her. She had the since most peaceful expression she had ever had drawn on her cheeks. For a good few moments, Djeeta just couldn’t get her eyes off her.

But- well…

Her face didn’t look… it didn’t look proper. No- she wasn’t ugly or anything! There wasn’t anything wrong with those beautiful pink cheeks.

...but…

Nier would definitely not want anyone to see her like this.

As gently as she could, she nudged Nier’s face towards the opposite direction.

Lyria hadn’t seen it, right?

Right?

Lyria was a sweet person, but…

“Um...um!” Lyria’s tone changed. The weakness in her tone had instantly dissipated. When Djeeta looked back at her literal ‘other-half’, she was greeted by the reddest face she had ever seen. Cheeks red like strawberries.

“I think… I think I understand! I-I’m sorry! Mhm! I understand now!” her voice was shaky. Not sad, not angry. Just… incredibly embarrassed. “I understand, I understand! Of course you would want to.. Um… ‘see’ your girlfriend first! I’m so sorry! Mhm! Yes, um, you spent some exhausting time with her, and… w-well, that’s why you were pretending to be asleep! Mhm!”

Um

Well, that wasn’t...entirely incorrect. Lyria’s little rant of assumptions went a little too far, but she really did want to exclusively see her girlfriend, first. Lyria’s words turned from nails-on-chalk to cute music into her ears.

“N-Nier stayed with you the whole three days, and…”

Three days!?

“I-I don’t know if she’s been taking care of herself.. .b-but! She said she really wanted to be the first thing you saw! And… um… she really didn’t want to leave you!”

Sure, her sense of time had been rather distorted, during the time she was unconscious. But that warmth didn’t fade for even a minute. Even a second!

Nier hadn’t even left the room, had she?

“I-I know! I’ll make sure to get you both… um, a hearty breakfast! You both need to eat something and drink something and I’m sure you need the energy after, you know…”

“Lyria?”

“Y-yes!?”

“Could you just give us a little bit longer? I need more time with Nier- just Nier.”

“Yes! Yes, I understand perfectly! Mhm!”

“Thanks.”

“I-I’ll get you breakfast, and…” Djeeta let out an exaggerated sigh, and gave Lyria an equally exasperated glare. “...S-Sorry! I’ll go now! I’ll go and… bye!”

And thus she disappeared, within the blink of an eye.

Well, there was no way she could let her mind rest again. If it had been three days, she definitely needed to, at the very least, take a shower.

...But she couldn’t move.

And it wasn’t just the cute girlfriend laying on top of her. If she put her mind to it, she could move her neck. If she tried her best, she could almost-freely move her arms. But, well… while she could kick her feet back and forth a little, that really was all she could muster. Nier’s weight couldn’t even begin to become a problem, when she couldn’t even get herself up far enough to even consider pushing her off!

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

“...Mm?”

Ah, shoot, she woke her little kitty. The taller Erune let out a loud, wide yawn. Her hands even balled up in front cheeks, before stretching her arms forward with a much cuter yawn. Only then did her eyes perk open. Those almost-feline orange eyes only reached halfway before Nier was back to her… well, regular self!

“Djeeta! Djeeta! Djeeta Djeeta Djeeeta Djeeta!”

From dry to wet in half a second, flat. Salty tears inked her cheeks as her drool had to her chest before.

It was nice. Having someone so happy to see her. It wasn’t like her friends didn’t worry, but…

Nier cared so much. So, so much. Djeeta never wanted the Erune’s heart to ache, but…

“...Thank you.”

A tinge of guilt lay beneath layers of happy.

“Ah! I’m sorry… a-am I hurting you?”

Honestly speaking? Yes. But she wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything in the world. Djeeta muted her pained mumbles, and gave Nier nothing but a smile and a shake of her head.

“Thank god… um… are you hurting? At all?”

“It’s not too bad! I’m just a little sore. I’ll be completely fine in a day or two!”

“Thank… I’m so happy. When I saw it happen, I was so scared. I managed to repel Death’s curse and… but… t-the blood. There was so much coming out of you. You… you… you… it was everywhere… um, I-I managed to… p-put life back into you, but your body, um…”

Nier was tripping over every single word. She went from regaining her posture for just a second, to once-more leaving herself a sobbering mess. Djeeta gently put her index finger against Nier’s lips. Giving her just the slightest shush.

“I’m fine.”

“It’s… it’s… I couldn’t protect you. Even with the magic of life and death… I couldn’t. I couldn’t I couldn’t I couldn’t I couldn’t I couldn-”

“You did. I know you did.”

“No! Even when we got your… your… pain under control.” Nier took a second to breathe. To gulp down her anxieties. Her cheeks had gone pale. “This is supposed to be my magic! But I couldn’t KILL Death.” Her fingers clenched into Djeeta’s shoulder in a way that almost hurt “And… and… I needed Lyria… but I was going to… um...”

“You’re the only person… the only only only only person. My only person. Everyone else that said they liked me, they… they… they all… liars, liars, liars. But you like me and I like you. We like each other. We like- like like… LIKE each other!”

Djeeta smiled in response.

“That’s not it, Nier.”

“...What?”

“I thought I made myself clear that night, my dummy Erune. I thought you understood.”

“I’m sorry.. I… what…?”

“I love you.”

Nier’s face cycled through a thousand expressions. Fear and sadness were first- but they lasted for no more than a second. Even her paranoid mind couldn’t seem twist those words- at least, not for very long. Her poor, traumatized mind seemed to insist on cycling through every negative it could. She even seemed angry for a moment! Upset, disappointed, before she finally managed to cycle back to being happy.

And then she just got happier and happier and happier-

Her lips and jaws were shaking. Her hands moved towards Djeeta’s face. Grasping at her. Squeezing at her cheeks. Rubbing over her face. Pinching her like one would pinch themselves to awaken from a dream.

Before- as usual, the waterworks started.

Nier… she cried a lot.

Djeeta was sure she hadn’t even breached the tip of the iceberg when it came to things Nier had suffered through.

“I’m going to make it all up to you. Your upbringing, your life, your everything! I’ll give you two smiles for every cry you’ve had!” Djeeta’s hands moved. God, her body was heavy. Just getting her fingers onto Nier’s cheeks felt like an adventure of their own. Her thumbs pressed out, right underneath the dark rings of her eyes.. Wiping those flowing tears away. Letting her let it all out.

“Mm, well, happy tears don’t count! I deeefinitely won’t stop those!”

Even though her body hurt so much, even though her body refused to move, through all the pain of her wound, Djeeta forced herself up. To sit up. Leaning against the wall, besides her bed, and holding the emotional Erune comfortably against her chest.

“I love you, Nier. I love my emotional Nier. My happy Nier, my angry Nier.” A soft peck was left on the feline’s forehead. “...but I especially love my sad Nier! Well- I don’t like it when you’re sad, but I’m so happy you get to lean against me like this, and just let it all out. My sad Nier gives the best hugs, too! You get so cute and squirmy…” Djeeta’s fingers slowly pulled through Nier’s raven-black hair. “I love all of my Nier, and nothing’s ever gonna change that! Geez… Nier, I didn’t start dating you because I thought I might be crushing on you! I was doing it, because I’m just so sure… that I love you.”

“I… I love you… I love you too!” Nier sat upwards in front of her girlfriend- well, her lover! She sloppily moved her sleeve to wipe those tears out of her eyes, before hunching over a little, awkwardly looking up and down. It was clear how desperate she was to make eye contact, but some short of shame was stopping her. “You won’t stop liking me… right? Stop loving me? Even if… I lied to you? Even though… I mislead you? I even… I even, I even tricked you into helping me! Your entire crew… I was going to sacrifice all of them…”

“But you didn’t.”

“But I was! I thought you were going to hurt me… so I… I wanted to...I wanted to get rid of you, like I wanted to get rid of everyone else…”

“But you couldn’t!”

“I would have if you didn’t stop me!”

“That’d make me a terrible girlfriend, wouldn’t it?”

Maybe it wasn’t too healthy to take all the blame off the black-haired Erune. She WAS inches away from doing something utterly terrible. The reasonable part of Djeeta’s brain was fully aware of that. But, she just couldn’t care. She had completely shut that rationality out of her heart. It didn’t have any place there. Nier was wobbling side to side. Her mouth opened and she echoed out a tiny ‘Umm…’ before returning it back to closed. This repeated just a few times, before she finally managed to pull those words out of her mouth.

“Are you… scared of me? Scared of hurting me…? Scared that I’ll… do those things...”

“Not really! You’ve always been affectionate to me. A little clingy, maybe, but I like that.” Djeeta quickly stuck her tongue out, letting out a little ‘bwehh’ just to make sure Nier knew that she couldn’t even remotely pull any blame to herself on this. There was no fear, nothing but that cheeky little smile.

“Even though… even though…”

Geez.

Djeeta really didn’t mind comforting Nier. She would’ve definitely dropped out of this relationship… eight months ago, if her ranting somehow upset Djeeta. Well, sometimes she got a little upset. Mostly, when she told those vague stories about the abuse her parents piled on her.

Just because she wished she could take all the pain away.

...and also because it reminded her that she wasn’t the only person with an explicitly punchable dad.

“..Even though… I’m such a freak? A disgusting, deluded garbage tra-”

Not a word more. Djeeta pounced forward- well, she did her best to, she needed to gather strength and willpower to even get herself to move that far. Her hands gripped onto Nier’s shoulders, as she put all of her strength in toppling Nier. “Eh?” was all she could let out, before she was weakly pushed into the cushioning underneath. It was enough to seal her lips, even if just for a little.

“No. I’ll never let you say -anything- like that. That’s the only thing you can do to make me mad, Nier.” It hurt to pin Nier down like this. She wasn’t sitting, she wasn’t leaning. But she kept her face and voice absolutely stern. Not even letting the tiniest hint of pain fade in.

“You don’t understa-”

“Dense! Nier, we SLEEP together! I wasn’t actively trying to, but… well, geez. What’d you think would happen with that much… err…” Djeeta needed a few moments. She needed to catch her breathe, and regain her tact. “...well, skinship!” Now Djeeta was the one feeling guilty. She clenched her teeth, closed her eyes, before giving Nier a kind stare and letting her words continue. “I didn’t… I really didn’t know how to talk about it to you. But, it’s not a problem. I don’t even know how this is even supposed to be a problem!” Djeeta let her body collapse, resting on top of Nier. Again, she had to take a moment. Her body -really- wasn’t agreeing with anything she was doing.

“...so… you love me… even though… um… I’m not a real gi-”

No. Djeeta silenced Nier, with her own lips, with a kiss no different from what they’ve done before. She mostly just needed Nier to be quiet- even if just for a minute.

Nier was always really awkward when kissing. Unmoving. Not even perking her lips. She swore that they made her so happy- but she was always holding back. Lifelessly. As if she felt guilty.

For -that- dumbass reason, she was pretty sure.

But now, she moved. Slowly tilting her head to the left. Lining their lips as parallel as they needed to be. Her lips perked, right into Djeeta’s own.

...well, it wasn’t like Djeeta was a virgin. Even as she broke into her twenties, she didn’t ever leave her horny teenager phase behind. And with all the cuties around her- girls and boys both, all of the same, hormonal age… well, she couldn’t stop herself from ‘experiment’

But this was her first kiss like this. Her first romantic kiss. One that only got more intense. Nier’s hands shifted onto Djeeta’s hips. Slowly and gently letting Djeeta roll onto her side. Her strong frame keeping Djeeta safe from falling, before finally letting her comfortably roll onto her side. So slowly. A process that took minutes, just to shuffle her over a few inches.

Her head was cloudy. Everything felt so slow. Nier’s hand squished into Djeeta’s hip. Grasping at her assets. Slowly, so slowly. Letting her fingers sink in, before letting her other hand gently touch onto Djeeta’s face. Her thumb pressing to the side of Djeeta’s lips. Caressing her. So slowly. So comfortably. So warmly.

Butterflies in her stomach. Butterflies in her head. Everything but Nier’s lips had faded. Her eyes lulled half-open, letting her eyes sink into the Erune’s. There was an adorable sparkle in her eye. Life that she had never seen before. Energy. Strength. Something was blooming inside of her. Something that got more intense with every second.

“Mmmnn…”

Nier pulled back from Djeeta’s lips. Flashing an incredible smile. The cutest, most wonderful expression she had ever seen. Even if it was for just a little, Nier had finally found the one light that shone through her sadness. Djeeta was breathless- both because of the amazing feeling shuddering through her spine, but equally so because she could barely breathe through that intense kiss.

“Djeeta”

Nier kissed forward. On her chin. “Djeeta.” Cheeks. “Djeeta. Djeeta Djeeta!” forehead, nose, lips.

Nier’s fingers moved up. Fingers wrapping around Djeeta’s blonde hair. Holding her tightly. Even if she did have any strength left, it was a loving embrace too tight to escape. Her head moved closer. Slowly. With every inch she shifted forward, she gave Djeeta a second to react. The warmth in Nier’s eyes made her thoughts so clear.

‘If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.’

She was still so worried. Nier was always so easy to read. A heart of gold filled with trauma and worries, but not at all lacking in kindness.

“Don’t stop…”

Djeeta weakly breathed out, as their mouths rested less than an inch away from each other. Nier was too alluring. Her breath was warm. Her face was beautiful. Her scent was so blissful. Her cute, whiny, ragged breathing. Even the saliva left on Djeeta’s lips tasted so hauntingly sweet. Nier was so unfair.

Even without Nier’s lips locking with Djeeta’s own, the Evoker had managed to overload every single one of the Singularity’s senses. Wrapped completely around her finger. Djeeta wanted to be the one to slowly pull her forward. Into the happiness she deserved. Maybe it was just because of Katalina, but she had imagined herself as the gallant knight that would save her princess from the dungeon of her heart. But, instead, the princess caught her in a powerful spell and left her instantly bewitched.

What was this… feeling? Why had she become so sensitive? So weak? Everything felt hot. Burning. Not enough to hurt, but enough to redden her cheeks, and form a beading of sweat along her cheeks. She was overheating. It felt as if her consciousness was melting. It felt like she could barely breathe.

But

It felt really, really good. It made her so, so happy.

...Were her eyes always this pretty? She had gazed into them countless times before… but…

They were gorgeous enough to lose herself in. Perfectly polished amber, with an island of black in their midst. Djeeta felt like she could stare into them forever, and ever. But just before she could lose herself in that boundless, orange ocean, Nier pulled her back ashore. How could she not drown in fantasies and desires when she was this close to the girl that she loved! Thoughts, happiness, smiles, dreams… fears…

A sudden warmth dragged her back from her gigglish half-present stare. Another touch to her lips. Djeeta let out the tiniest yelp, withdrawing her face back for just a second. This was a dream, wasn’t it? She must’ve fallen asleep while cuddling her beloved! While pressing chest-to-chest as Nier had rolled her to her side, she must’ve dozed out. Because… because…

...how could something this amazing be real?

“..s-sorry, a second.”

“Ah?” Nier pulled back, a noise desolate of excitement pursing from her lips. “I-.. um…” Nier shook her head. She lowered her head a little. Her words fell to an absolute whisper. More than half of it illegible. “..bad? ...hurt?”

“N-No, nothing like that… um…” Djeeta took a deep breath. Oh boy, if it was a dream, let her lucidity not take this fantasy away. Not only the pleasure and affection she shared with Nier, but even the beyond alluring way Nier had taken command. “...is… um… is this a dream?”

Nier responded with blank stare. Not with negativity. Just completely blank. Before responding with a raising of her hands. Clapping both of her hands on her face, as she had done to Djeeta a while before “I don’t… um… think so?” Nier dropped her hands away. Grasping onto Djeeta’s. Locking their fingers together, and even pulling them up between their bodies. That didn’t even hurt! Come to think of it, after Nier got so aggressive, the crippling weight that denied her movement even faded away. It had to be a dream, right? Right? Crippling injuries of both body and soul couldn’t just fade so quickly! Djeeta gently snuck her hands away from the Erune’s own. Pinching her cheeks. Clapping them just like Nier had done. She even gave her lip the softest bite.

That all hurt, just like it should. N-no, her mind must be tricking her into thinking this wasn’t a dream. That, or heck, Drang’ll come in running, laughing that he managed to fool her into completely melting within this Nier-replica’s arms! Or even the gate to the Otherworld! Death had bisected her, how could she still be here if that happened!?

It’s a trick. It’s a dream. It’s not real. Somehow, reality was playing a trick on her.

...No.

It is real.

“...Nier?”

“Y-yes, my beloved?”

“What sorta- what sorta trick is this… I feel like- I feel like-” Djeeta’s hands moved up in front of her face as they flailed just ever so slightly. She was TRYING to mime the intense pleasure coursing through her system, but that point definitely wouldn’t come across to anyone. “Um…” Okay, something else. How could she describe the feeling she was having? The lack of anything but a smooth shivering of her soul. All she could feel was smiles. Something… had gone.

“I don’t hurt.”

“I- we healed you. Lyria and her primals… Io and Katalina, both doing some sort of healing magic… I barely managed to… um… I tried to- my magic… I-I saw you as a flower that I wanted to see bloom again! You just needed a little to readjust. To have your body recall how it felt before. So that you could-”

Heartwarming, sweetheart.

“That’s not what I meant, Nier. That’s… I’m… I don’t hurt.”

“Then… what?”

That’s… difficult. How could she even begin to explain that? Djeeta’s journey had brought her more happiness than anything before. Again, a slight flailing of Djeeta’s hands in a completely failed attempt to mime out her thoughts when words failed her. Sure, she was more than just a little happy!

But that wasn’t it.

Something was gone. And she couldn’t be happier.

“I got to.. Temporarily take on a part of the strain of your life-link. So all of us could focus on bringing you back. Did your connection… did it hurt?”

“No, no, no!” Djeeta was getting a little aggravated, but not at Nier. Why couldn’t she just bring this to words? It was… something that burned for as long as she remembered! “It’s just- it’s just- argh!” More angry flailing. Nier worriedly wrapped her hands around Djeeta’s, keeping her still, but even the warm touch of those softest hands couldn’t cushion Djeeta’s rising annoyance.

“I don’t- I can’t…” no matter how hard she looked for that ever-present pain, not a shred remained. “...I’m not worried anymore.” Djeeta was finally on the right track. She took a deep breath, before sighing it out.

“I was hesitant, scared, worried. I kept a straight face when Walfrid told us what was ahead, but… It hurt so, so much.” A hesitant deep inhale. And a shaking of her head. “T-that’s not right. It got a lot worse then, but…”

Deep breaths, Djeeta. Regain your composure. Think about your words. Close your eyes, rest, think, and...

“I’ve had- I’ve had nightmares about having to fight him. I’ve had nightmares about never finding him! I can’t remember his face or his voice. But…” Nier squeezed her girlfriend a little harder. Sadness, sadness, go away. “I’m… Death must’ve broken me. I just…”

“Mhm, mhm!” Nier made comforting, acknowledging noises to the best of her ability. It helped, honestly. It helped her regain her footing. It helped her breathe, and soon after her words flow out.

“I got a little dreamy there. I was thinking,” Thinking wasn’t quite the right word, more like fears and smiles of her future. “Thinking about our journey- thinking about… how I want to be with you, forever…”

Nier smiled a little, but she hid it as fast as it showed, giving Djeeta some little squeezies instead.

“...I remember so little about my dad. My clearest memory of him is when he abandoned me.” **But** “What if he doesn’t approve of us?” **it** “What if he just- what if at the end of our long journey… I can’t even get him to accept me?” **doesn’t** “He has to stop me, because I’m the singularity. We’d have to fight- I might even need to… finish it.” **hurt** “I’m- it… He. I don’t, I don’t…” **at all** “Even if I have to- even if I must…”

Why couldn’t you just spit it out, Djeeta?

You know exactly what to say.

“If I don’t find him.” **I** “if he’s my enemy.” **hate** “Even Mom- I just don’t, I just don’t…” him “I feel like…”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” **hate** “As long as you’re by my side, Nier.” **hate** “The crew… I tried thinking of them as my family.” **hate** “It always felt a little wrong- but you, you’re my family, Nier.” **hate** “I will always, I can always, just come home to you.”

“You’re the only family I need, Nier.” That’s wrong. Just spit it out. “...you’re the only family I have.”

“Djeeta, I-” Djeeta gave her the slightest squeeze. Not yet. She still had more to say.

Even directly thinking about it, didn’t hurt. It always had. Something -must’ve- broken her. Death, or maybe Nier herself… She had magic shifting across the boundaries of love and death. Maybe she could, maybe she could…

Ah

The words came to her. As her wording came together, all of those awful doubts faded away.

“I don’t have to pretend he’s my family anymore.”

Nier was struck with silence- and Djeeta was no different. The two Lovers gazed into one another’s eyes, each waiting for the silence to abruptly end. Djeeta could hear her heart throbbing. She could feel it pound in her chest, and even her wrists were pulsing ever-so-slightly.

Why wouldn’t Nier say anything? No, why couldn’t Djeeta just erase the silence? Nier couldn’t. That was okay! Nier had limits- anxieties, trauma. Djeeta knew that! She didn’t mind, and she had no problem taking the responsibility of cracking all of her pain away. So why couldn’t she just- talk!? It doesn’t matter what you say, Djeeta! Even if you just meekly mutter that you love her, or that everything’s fine, she’ll feel so much better! Just- open your mouth and cast away these unspoken words of silence!

“...Thank you.”

But Nier was the first one to talk. Her lips were even curved into a sharp smile. No doubt forced- but eversweet nonetheless. Djeeta shook her head in objection. She didn’t want her hapless Erune be forced to comfort her!

“For...sharing your pain with me.” Nier let her grip grow just ever-so slightly tighter. While that distracted Djeeta, she snuck in the quickest kiss onto her forehead. “It… it does hurt. I never want my beloved to be in pain.”

“It’s not pain…”

Nier’s fingers escaped and once-more wrapped around the back of Djeeta’s neck. One grasping at her neck, with the other gently pushing into her hair. After a singular brush of her hair, Djeeta quickly found herself forced downwards, head resting onto Nier’s full chest.

She was so, so soft.

“It’s… it’s okay… I’m here for you, too. I’m not strong, but I can be a little, if it’s just for you…”

“Nier, you really don’t have to…”

A bright smile. One that couldn’t be mistaken for anything but genuine bliss.

...why was everything getting so foggy?

...why did all the blur fade away, the moment she wiped at the side of her eye?

“...But that would make me a terrible girlfriend, wouldn’t it?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ends abruptly. Might continue, sometime, ever.

Everything was so much better.

Even if they had been dating for over half a year now, there had always been an uncrossable boundary between the two. Even though they were always close enough to touch lips, they felt so unbelievably distant.

‘It was Nier’s fault.’

...that was really gross.

‘I’m trying my best! If I give her time, Nier will open up to me…”

You weren’t trying your best.

There was never any doubt of the affection the two held for one another. Whenever she was closed to Nier, her heart throbbed. Whenever she was far from Nier, her heart hurt. Nier, too, didn’t want to leave Djeeta alone for even a second. They were always together. How could they not be? They were on the same ship, they shared a room, they always went on missions together.... Even before today, they were attached at the hip.

So why, why did it take until now, for that distance to disappear?

…

Stupid question, Djeeta, you know the answer.

The two lovers laid side by side, facing one another. They had not stopped talking for the few hours that had passed. They had not looked away. The furthest they had separated was to stand down and strip down into something significantly more comfortable. Djeeta wearing nothing but her panties and a shirt- one far too long for her, and Nier had been forced into the same attire. She actually resisted quite a bit- but she relented when she realized that shirt reached down to her knees.

“Nier.”

“Djeeta..”

There was something so utterly entrancing about calling the other’s name..

“Nier!”

“Djeeta.”

It felt fun.

“Nier, Nier, Nier, Nier! Nierniernier!”

Every time she said Nier’s name- her Erune ears twitched, and a lovely little light flashed in her eyes. A sparkle of happiness that gleamed so gorgeously on her melancholic face.

“Djeeta Djeeta Djeeta!”

And hearing Nier say her name?

There was so much energy and love in it. She always used to sound so exhausted. Even if there was a tinge of happiness buried deep within the sensation of calling her girlfriend’s name, she barely felt alive. It felt like she was calling from so far away, from buried so deep within.

But she finally made it.

Djeeta could finally, really hear her voice. -Her- voice.

“I love you.”

Djeeta couldn’t stop herself from saying it. Nier was too cute.

“I love you, too!”

And she couldn’t stop giggling every time she heard it.

It made her want to shuffle in closer. And so she did. Chest pressing into Nier’s. Fingers wrapping around her. Hands diving up the back of her shirt. Caressing over her side, letting her finger lull gently up Nier’s spine, before landing back onto her sides.

Nier giggled- which was enough to make Djeeta start again, too!

“I love you, Nier.”

And seriously, Nier was so wonderfully enchanting. Too enchanting. Her fingers pulled out from within Nier’s shirt, grasping onto the hem of her shirt instead.

Nier had pushed herself as hard as she could. Those kisses, cuddles, those intense touches…

It would only be right for her to return the favour, right? She just had to trail her hands up, slowly.

Nier’s thighs squirmed together and she let out the slightest wince, but a nod of her head confirmed that it was okay. Djeeta didn’t want to push Nier- she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. She didn’t want to do anything that could blemish her smile.

But. But her girlfriend was so cute. Sexy. Hot. Attractive.

And with how Nier had behaving all day?

Djeeta didn’t want to stop- she couldn’t stop.

She needed to see her bare skin.

Up and up. First, past her panties. Nier’s hands awkwardly shifted to cover herself- but still, showed nothing but excitement. It dragged past her belly button. Her soft skin. Unveiling more and more of her well-trained body. While she was definitely more of a mage than a fighter,there was no way around getting a nice, daily workout when partnered with Djeeta’s crew. She was just muscular enough for just the most slight tone to be visible. It just made her cuter.

After admiring Nier’s skin for a moment, Djeeta’s fingers continued pulling up. The underside of her chest. She could see it. She could touch them. Then the clothing passed her nipples, before, finally, her entire chest laid bare.

“You look so wonderful, Nier…”

Djeeta could feel her cheeks burn red. Her ears. She could feel her heart pound in her throat. And as her fingers sunk into Nier’s chest, she could feel hers, too.

“You’re so hot…”

“I’m really… not…”

Even now, even this wasn't enough to dispel her anxiety. But that’s okay. It just meant she had to make Nier feel so happy she couldn’t even -feel- those worries!

“I can’t even control myself anymore. I can’t hold back.,”

“That’s… that’s just..”

“It’s because you’re so sexy, Nier!”

“But.. I’m no-”

Djeeta’s body felt a little heavy, but that didn’t matter. She could muster all the strength she needed, to gently push Nier onto her back. To get up and without even a shred of hesitation, mount onto her waist.

“You can’t… you can’t you can’t you can’t…”

Djeeta adjusted herself, shuffling down. She wanted to touch every part of Nier’s body. She wanted to accept all of it. She kept pushing down and down, until her butt pushed up against that shape hidden within her underwear.

“You can’t you can’t- Djeeta please- you can’t…”

She was heaving and panting. Shaking.her body around underneath.

That.. definitely wasn’t just embarrassment. That wasn’t just her anxiety. Even if the shape within her underwear became more and more pronounced, that shadow in her eyes…

“I’m sorry.”

Djeeta shuffled forward- returning back onto her waist. Letting her fingers touch onto Nier’s cheeks.

“I got…well I love very part of you!.I shouldn’t-”

“No! I want you to! It’s just- there… not yet… not now. I can’t, I can’t I can’t I can’t!”

Djeeta let her body sink down, her clothed chest pushing against Nier’s bareness. Her own -slightly- larger chest pushing over Nier’s. Wait- was she even bigger?

“I’m sorry…”

“Eh?”

Stop staring at her breasts, Djeeta. Nier is panicking, you dolt!

“I’m sorry I’m disappointed you! I’m sorry I’m so-”

“No- Nier! It wasn’t like that. I was trying to do it for you, but…”

“W-we can do everything else! You can- um, as long… its not there...”

“We really don’t have to if you don’t want to! I want to make you happy, not uncomfortable!”

“I really want it just not that!”

Awkward.

Their faces were so close to one another, but both of them were getting so loud. Nier was visibly panicking, and Djeeta was doing her best to just silence her fears.

But-

“I’m sorry. You’re wonderful, Nier.”

Djeeta lowered her voice back down to a whisper.

“Let me make it up to you, sweetie. I’ll make you feel good and cute..”

“You.. don’t have to. Not for me…”

“Nier- I… uh…”

Djeeta shut herself up mid sentence. Nier’s anxiety was too high. Take a deep breath. And don’t let her talk. 

“I’m not doing it for you, silly. I’m doing this for both of us.” Don’t hold back. Just drive her absolutely crazy. Don’t even give her the chance to be anxious. Her fingers suck into the bare flesh of her chest, squeezing down as lightly as she could. Her hands, soon after, quickly cupped in circles, playfully and happily rolling them within her hands. “Look, Nier. how long do you think I’ve been waiting to do this?” She wanted to feel every last part of her chest. She grabbed, and squeezed, over and over again.

...someone knocked on the door.

Go away. You’re not important.

“Just looking at you drives me crazy. I want you.” Djeeta snuggled her head down, kissing on her breasts. Drawing her tongue around, until it finally reached that sensitive little spot at its center. Nier couldn’t hold her voice down, Nier couldn’t stop herself from shaking in excitement, and she definitely couldn’t stop the pants escaping from her lips. Djeeta’s lips gave her perked nip the tiniest suckle, before she pulled back and started speaking again.

Another set of knocks.

Go away already!

“I desire you- your heart, your mind… and of course your body…” Cute. She couldn’t even stop herself from drooling. Djeeta traced her tongue up. Over Nier’s neck. Her chin. Following that cute little trail of drool, before rewarding her with a kiss.

Nier was a much, much better kisser than her, but… Djeeta did her best to lead. Sinking her tongue past Nier’s lips, rolling against it, entrancing her. Djeeta tried to guide Nier. Pulling her tongue back, slowly. But Nier didn’t budge. She just timidly stared up at Djeeta. Unmoving. Her face strawberry red,

Was she doing anything wrong?

“Nier?”

“Umm….”

Nier looked away, turning away from Djeeta. What did she do? Did she upset Nier, somehow?

“...there...”

Oh.

The door was cracked open.

And, well…

Lyria had poked her head in. Her hands were covering her eyes- but the slight hint of azure made it so very clear that she was… enjoying the view.

“Um?”

“I… I brought you the food, since you haven’t eaten or drank in… a few days, um…”

Djeeta’s hands reluctantly pulled away from Nier’s chest, before quickly pulling her shirt down to spare her this embarrassment.

“It’s not healthy to have sex while you’re dehydrated!” Lyria pulled her hands away- probably realizing she didn’t have to pretend she wasn’t looking anymore. A second after, Lyria pulled herself back, before opening the door further and pushing a cart full of food and drinks into Djeeta’s room. “Y-You can go back to it after you take care of yourself!” Lyria went silent, before loudly correcting what she just said. “I-I mean! By… By eating and drinking! The food! Here!”

Lyria pushed the cart a little further inside.

With every second, this just got more awkward.

“A-And! You should wash yourselves up after you eat, too! Y-you’re probably going to get each other dirty, and you haven’t been able to leave your bed for days...:”


End file.
